Something Like Casanova
by EbonyIvoryy
Summary: "Let's face it. Roy Mustang is a ladies man..." Any-verse; Yummy Royai fluff. Devour it.


**A/N: **This fic is an impulsive experiment.

**Disclaimer:** The cow owns it all.

_Some Muse-filled Fluff_;

**_Something Like Casanova  
_**

* * *

Let's face it. Roy Mustang is a ladies man.

In fact, you could say that he is something like Casanova.

Monday: he eats lunch with Shannon; sure beats HQ's cafeteria food. Tuesday: he goes to the park with Ava after work; they watch the sunset. Wednesday: he takes Evelyn out for a joyride. Thursday: he doesn't have a date. A girl comes up to him while he's shopping. She slaps him after he doesn't remember her name. Apparently, they had a 'special' night together. Others would call it a one night stand. Friday: Roy has two dates; one with Michelle, the other with Madeline. It's too bad their names are so close... Saturday: he meets a woman at a bar. She takes him back where they have some 'fun'. Sunday: Rebecca and Lucille both own Havoc's heart. That is, until Mustang comes along...

"_Heelloooo madamee~!_" Roy sang into the phone one Saturday night.

He had a rather difficult time getting into the phone booth - stumbling inside, fumbling with his coins, then looking for one more coin as it was in his hand the entire time. The grown man giggled like a school girl when the phone rang, waiting for a familiar voice to pick up.

And thus, we get to his wonderful greeting:

"_Heelloooo madamee~!_"

Riza sighed into the phone. "What is it, Colonel?"

Suddenly, she heard an unfamiliar woman from his side of the line. "Who are you _talkiiiinngg tooo_, _Roy_-_boyyy~?_"

"B..." 'Roy-boy' panted clumsily, slurring his words. "Be-be-be quiet, darlin'. 'M busy."

"_Ayyy mee~!_ Is it another girl?"

"I say-ed be quiet, darlin'!"

"If it's another girl, I'm going to _CRY!_"

"Save it fo' later, darlin'!"

"_Honeeyyy~!_ Did you forget my name? It's DAISY!"

"I like daises..."

Once again, Riza exhaled with annoyance. "Just tell me what you want, sir."

"Mmmmmm? What I waaant?" Roy mumbled into the phone as he shooed away the love-drunk woman named 'Daisy'.

"Yes," the Lieutenant simply replied. She sounded not only irritable, but exhausted.

"Hmmm...what I waaaaant..."

There was a pause on his line. Little bits of static was heard.

"Sir? Are you drunk?" she asked it as if it were not a question.

He chucked like a sniveling little kid. "_Mayyyybeeee~..._"

"Sir."

"_Tee-hee!_ Only slightly, Lieutenant. Only. Slightly."

Though Mustang couldn't see it, he could tell that Riza was rolling her eyes from the tone of her voice. "And you need me to pick you up...?"

"Right on the spot, Lieutenant!"

"It's _dot_, Colonel."

"Tomato, potato!"

Sigh. "I'll be there in ten minutes. Don't go running off like you did last time."

"No promises!"

"_SIR.._"

"Okay, okay!"

"...And no bringing loose women that I don't know into my car!"

"Got 'et. Wait-"

"What?"

"Ya' said no bringin' loose women ya' _don't know_...how 'bout loose women ya' _do know?_"

Riza hung up the phone.

_~u~_

Ten minutes later, like she had said, Lieutenant Hawkeye showed up to the pub. She appeared in her car as always, not bothering to step out. Impatiently, she waited for Mustang. Minutes passed after minutes, until he finally came out of the bar. He took ungracious steps - an unlikely characteristic for the Flame Alchemist.

"..'Ello, Elizabeth!" he greeted, plopping into the back seat.

Usually, Mustang sat in the passenger's seat, but even while he was intoxicated he wasn't a fool to Hawkeye's wrath. From the mere glare in her auburn eyes, he knew that staying a distance would keep him much safer from bullets. The woman looked at her superior officer through the rear-view mirror, taking note of his dilated pupils and red cheeks.

_'He looks like a fool,'_ she thought bitterly.

"Ya' look down, woman!" he beamed with his arms in the air for exaggeration. "Turn 'dat frown upside dowwwnnn!"

Her hands clenched on the wheel, but she didn't begin to drive yet. That black car was pulled over to the side of the street like it had been for minutes on end. The sound of drunk souls hollering in the pub could still be heard from inside the vehicle.

Riza shook her head in disappointment. "You look awful, sir..." She then met his gaze in the rear-view mirror. "...don't blame me if you get a nasty hangover in the morning."

He didn't seem to hear her, grinning himself goofy and looking up at the car's ceiling. She sighed in response and twisted the key in the ignition. Just when she was about to put her foot on the gas, she spotted a woman sprinting frantically to the car. The woman was a blonde like Riza, but was styled with magnificent flips to frame her thin face. Her red lips puckered in a forced fashion, while her gigantic silver hoop earrings dangled as she ran. She wore a wine red halter that dropped down to reveal a load of cleavage. Her black leather pants were skin tight; her strappy heels clanking at each step. Around her slim neck, was a fluffy white scarf.

"_Royyy-boyyy~!_" the woman cried out.

She made her way to the door, slamming it open and hastily flung her arms around Roy. "How could you _leave me?_ I was all alone in that big big pub! Someone could have taken advantage of _meee!_"

_'Heh...looks like someone already has,'_ she thought beside her irritation.

"Please stop 'dat, darlin'," he groaned to Riza's entertainment, pinching the bridge of his nose. "My head's spinning..."

_'...Serves you right...'_

As the artificial woman cooed him in the back seat, Hawkeye's fuse shortened. She really didn't have time for this.

"Do you mind? I have tons of paperwork to do..." she finally spoke up suggestively.

"Roy-boy...?" the woman looked back and forth between the two officers. "...Who is this woman...?"

"She's my _best friend!_" he gleefully announced.

'Darlin' glared and tightened her grip around his neck. "She's ONLY your friend. Right."

"No!" Mustang countered. "She's my BEST friend!"

"Fine! If that's the way you're going to be then I don't wish to be with you anymore! Goodbye, pig!" And with that, she leaped out of the car and stomped her heels away. Mustang didn't seem to mind; smiling ear-to-ear in his own little world.

"Ready to go, sir?"

"Never been readier," he mumbled. "...Red. EEE. Red-EEE. ER. Red."

_~u~_

The next morning, Roy's foggy charcoal eyes squinted open. It was noon. The curtains in his room really didn't do much, being transparent and letting the bright sunny light through. For once in his life, he hated the sun. With all of the power it gave, it also pained him.

"_Eeeeyyyuuuuggghhh..._" he groaned before smuggling his face in a pillow._  
_

His throbbing headache was never ending, and his burning throat didn't spare the pain. It was worse than any flu or common cold imaginable. The covers were too much heat so he threw them off, now in a white t-shirt and boxers rather than the formal suit from last night.

"How you feeling?" Riza's voice startled him. She wasn't in any pajamas, and even though he couldn't remember it correctly, she was wearing the same clothes from the night before. She must've spent the night.

Roy took his face out of the pillow. "_Urrrg_...I'll never drink again..."

The woman chuckled. "I'll hold you to that."

After a moment of Mustang holding his head in quenching pain, Hawkeye strolled over to his bedside with two pills and a glass of water. "Here, take these," she advised.

He moaned before doing as she said, sitting up uneasily and chugging the pills down.

Just then, Mustang stopped to think that it was truly amazing...

...how the Lieutenant never failed to guide her superior officer. How she stayed by his bedside, even after his behavior last night. Her patience...her loyalty. She truly was a military dog; a tolerant one, at that. But after seeing Riza as an example, is being a military dog all that bad? Yes, the dogs of the military were forced to do some horrid things. Wanton murder amongst other things that destroy a home. Moreover, noone bothers to question this blood on their hands. If they do, they keep it silent - to themselves. Although, there is times when being a dog is a true loving quality. If your body is in a burning house, the dog rescues you from the flames. If you use the wrong words to get yourself out of a situation, the dog saves you from yourself. It is an inherent trait.

_'Truly amazing...'_

A smile quirked up on the Colonel's lips.

"Are you okay, sir?" Riza asked, features etched with concern. Roy tilted his head, so she explained, "You look faint."

It must've been that silly-stupid grin on his face. He simply shook his head, taking a finger and running it through her loose blonde hair. _'She really should let it down more often.'_

The Lieutenant felt a sunset blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Are you sure you're okay...?"

"No, Lieutenant. I'm fine. I've never been better...but can I ask you something?"

"...What?"

"How can you sit at my bedside after last night? After I've proven to be make an ass out of myself?"

Riza's mouth made a slanted line while her thin eyebrows pushed together. "It's easy, sir. I pledged my loyalty to you long ago...I can't turn my back on you because you are a moronic drunk and helpless womanizer. If I did, I wouldn't be much of a dog; would I?"

He blinked at her, astonished at the answer. Astonished at how it slid so easily from her lips. How she could find the words so simple and make them sound complex. It was, like he thought earlier, _truly amazing_.

Suddenly, Colonel Mustang belted out a low chuckle. Even though his head was pounding against this movement, he just couldn't stop! The bed creaked as he held his stomach in surpressed laughter.

Riza looked at him like an infant trying to figure out a contraption. "R...Roy?" was all she could muster to say.

"I'm f-fine, I'm fine!" he insisted through his giggles, "I j-just need some more w-water!"

The woman hopped up from her chair and marched into the kitchen rather quickly. She would take her time fetching his water...

He has always known it, but it never quite dawned on him. Women were wonderful; with their plush lips and hourglass figures. However, there was something about Riza Hawkeye that was different from the other women...

Now, only two faces remained in Roy's mind. One of the woman he loved to death, and one of a dead man with a gentle-loving smile.

_'You're right, Hughes...'_ he thought with irony. _'...I really did need a wife...turns out, i've had her all along.'_

It is crazy how you don't realize someone was right until they're six feet under.

_**Fin.**_

_**~u~  
**_

_"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind..." _-Shakespeare_  
_


End file.
